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MistyJm
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Post by MistyJm »

jamestkirk wrote:
MistyJm wrote:I understand. :) And knowing you two are gonna have a great vacation for your 25th wedding anniversarry is going to be extra beautiful I think.
Enjoy everyday together Twilla. Image

Yes I fought for my mom 100% always did. When the cancer came back and she was terminal ill we asked her if she wanted to die in her own home instead of the nursing home and with her eyes she said yes. So with the ambulance she was brought to her and my stepdad's house. I moved in for about 4 to 5 months to help take care of her along with my stepdad and ofcourse a medical team who would come several times a day.
She died in my arms while looking at me. One of the hardest things I ever went through but I would do it again within a heartbeat. :)
It's hard to imagine if you haven't been there. My heart goes out to you, Mon. My Father, Mother and Father in Law all died with us there....never thought I would want something like that, but being able to be there and care for them and see their eyes and gratitude......

it's a priveledge that most don't get--to experience the life force peacefully pass from a loved one. Harder that you can imagine but a comfort in later years. I know I fear death less now....I'm guessing you feel the same, Mon.
Thanks Scott. :) And I am sorry for your losses too.

I wish her death went peaceful though but she was in severe pain. The first moment I saw her eyes break. Hard to explain. Like they litterly break when looking at you. And a few moments later she unexpected came up again. Her head and chest came up and her mouth was wide open and then she fell back again. At the same time the inside of her body was so rotten by the cancer and medications that her insides were poring out the tubes that were connected to her, to provide her with food water and medication. Her chest was so open and infected you could smell it.
Honestly it was horrible. :( Gave me sleeping problems for a long time.
But like I said I would do it over again in a heartbeat. :)

Anyway I gonna knock it off now. :lol:
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jamestkirk
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Post by jamestkirk »

MistyJm wrote:
jamestkirk wrote:
MistyJm wrote:I understand. :) And knowing you two are gonna have a great vacation for your 25th wedding anniversarry is going to be extra beautiful I think.
Enjoy everyday together Twilla. Image

Yes I fought for my mom 100% always did. When the cancer came back and she was terminal ill we asked her if she wanted to die in her own home instead of the nursing home and with her eyes she said yes. So with the ambulance she was brought to her and my stepdad's house. I moved in for about 4 to 5 months to help take care of her along with my stepdad and ofcourse a medical team who would come several times a day.
She died in my arms while looking at me. One of the hardest things I ever went through but I would do it again within a heartbeat. :)
It's hard to imagine if you haven't been there. My heart goes out to you, Mon. My Father, Mother and Father in Law all died with us there....never thought I would want something like that, but being able to be there and care for them and see their eyes and gratitude......

it's a priveledge that most don't get--to experience the life force peacefully pass from a loved one. Harder that you can imagine but a comfort in later years. I know I fear death less now....I'm guessing you feel the same, Mon.
Thanks Scott. :) And I am sorry for your losses too.

I wish her death went peaceful though but she was in severe pain. The first moment I saw her eyes break. Hard to explain. Like they litterly break when looking at you. And a few moments later she unexpected came up again. Her head and chest came up and her mouth was wide open and then she fell back again. At the same time the inside of her body was so rotten by the cancer and medications that her insides were poring out the tubes that were connected to her, to provide her with food water and medication. Her chest was so open and infected you could smell it.
Honestly it was horrible. :( Gave me sleeping problems for a long time.
But like I said I would do it over again in a heartbeat. :)

Anyway I gonna knock it off now. :lol:
SO sorry, Mon. My father-in-Law's was not easy either....well when is it?!! Your tragedy is beyond pain, yet passing is a gift in such a case and I'm happy for you to have no regrets...that will stay with you forever!

Cheers, Mon.
;0 Guess we should go somewhere off the board so we don't bum everyone else out here!! :wink: You're right....gonna knock it off too.
"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music".

-Aldous Huxley
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MistyJm
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Post by MistyJm »

yeah don't want to bum anyone out. But maybe some can learn or find comfort from sharing this though.

Thanks Scott. Gimme a yell by pm again if you wanna talk. And thanks for your kind words. :D

And you're right, no regrets at all. :wink:
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twilla
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Post by twilla »

Your both okay
showing your human side and sharing something
that makes you who you are. Just makes me appreciate you both more.
;)
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Eni
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Post by Eni »

Sorry about your losses and struggles everyone.

twilla: Thanks for bringing that up in the first place. I think its great how you and your husband handle the situation of his disability. It's really quite inspiring.

I've been struggling with several things in my life too. My mother died when I was very young, about 4. Don't have much memory of her or of that but its hard to grow up without your mum, with your dad struggling to raise you.

Recently, I've been experiencing mental illness, it's stopped me from reacting and behaving like a lot of others, and from doing things like attending college (I'm going back in like two weeks though!) Stupid, asshole people have bullied me and singled me out for my differences, not only were others experiencing what I was... But it was truly a problem of mine, a reality of mine that some silly people weren't aware of or were to afraid to admit to even... Just so they could blame me and point their finger at me. I'm still in the recovery process, definitely, I think it'll be a long one but I'm staying strong.
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twilla
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Post by twilla »

Stay strong Eni
and so glad to hear your going to college, you're a smart girl and go show em what your made of.
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Eni
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Post by Eni »

I will :wink:

Thank you!! People who are helping me get back to college believe in me, they say that I need to believe that I can do it. It's great to have that support.

College in England is different than college in the States... We finish school at 16, then there is 'Further Education', usually for 16-18 year olds, which is what we call 'college'... And then there is university which is which is what they call 'college' in the States I believe.
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twilla
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Post by twilla »

That sounds interesting, You get to start courses or classes that you want in a university then?
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Eni
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Post by Eni »

Yeah. In a uni you choose a single honours or a joint honours degree course (of two subjects to study, single honours is one) here.

In college here, students typically choose 4-5 subjects of their choice to study. However, I'm only doing 2 subjects of my choice, to lighten the load for me with my issues, since 4 would be a lot. I might also redo maths at school level since I didn't pass that (I'm much more of a word person than a number person.)

In school, for your two final years, you get to pick about 3 subjects to study (from not a good range of subjects I imagine) but you are expected to do lots more subjects. I've finished that but the final year of school is when I really became unwell. It was sooo tough for me... So I've almost regretted ever doing the final year but I did, and I got my qualifications and I'm able to go to college now!

Edit: btw, Mon and twilla: I agree about Jim. He did have a heart, more of a heart that he was given credit for a lot of time I think *sigh* Haha, I'm about to go all Jim fangirly on you all. However, I'm not sure I've heard that story on him, although I haven't read far too much on him.
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Post by jim4371 »

Good luck, Eni :)
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twilla
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Post by twilla »

I think you will like college better than regular school
Good luck with your studies.
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Eni
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Post by Eni »

Thanks to both of you!! :D :D

I think I will enjoy it, I've already been to the college I'm going to but I dropped out after a month cuz some circumstances weren't right. It was rough... But I liked the atmosphere of it so I'm giving it another go!
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Post by Silver Forest »

My dad died on the hospital after a stroke. We left him and went home feeling positive about his recovery but he died on that night. Those moments in the morning after being informed are printed on my mind. I wasn't there and can't avoid feeling blame. Makes no sense but I can't avoid.

Reading your lines, Mon, I remembered being told by him of a similar experience with his grandmother. I never asked him again about that day.
Sorry to talk about this. Not easy and I thought twice about it but I felt compelled to do so.
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Silver Forest
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Post by Silver Forest »

Eni wrote:Thanks to both of you!! :D :D

I think I will enjoy it, I've already been to the college I'm going to but I dropped out after a month cuz some circumstances weren't right. It was rough... But I liked the atmosphere of it so I'm giving it another go!
I'm joining the gang: good luck Eni!
I hope this time you will be completely happy with your college times.
:)
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Eni
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Post by Eni »

Silver Forest wrote:
Eni wrote:Thanks to both of you!! :D :D

I think I will enjoy it, I've already been to the college I'm going to but I dropped out after a month cuz some circumstances weren't right. It was rough... But I liked the atmosphere of it so I'm giving it another go!
I'm joining the gang: good luck Eni!
I hope this time you will be completely happy with your college times.
:)
Thanks so much :)
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MistyJm
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Post by MistyJm »

twilla wrote:Mon
You now have a guardian angel to watch over you.
I know how hard that was for you. I held my grandmother when she died, but she had a long life of 94.

I don't know if you have ever heard of EVista, but it is a drug that has proven to prevent breast cancer. As far as I know it has not been approved for use for that reason in the USA but is approved for osteoporosis here.
You might check and see if it is available in Holland and if that is something you would be interested in.
I'm sorry Twilla. I didn't see your post last night otherwise I would have responded sooner. :)

Thanks for you sweet words girl. Appreciate it so much. *hugs*
And yes I do believe she somehow is watching over me though I don't know how. But I can feel her inside.

No I never heard of the drug before. Gonna check it out and see if it is bein givin in the Netherlands.
But does it also prevent against breastcancer when it's genetic?
Both my mom and grandmother had a very aggresive version.
I have a huge huge chance getting it at a young age.
But I just can't make the decision to remove my breasts and all that needs to be takin away to reduce the risks.
Maybe I should. But I can't.

Victor sorry for your loss so much. :( And no don't feel any blame please. Cause that's something I know for a fact your father would not want. Good to see you back posting again mister. :wink:

Eni: you show em. Bullies are just lame and problaby very weak. Show them what your made of girl! You got the strenght and power. :D
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twilla
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Post by twilla »

Mon
Evista is for people who have a gentic history, the USA is behind on this one
It was given for osteoporosis in Europe for around 30 years and was discovered about the breast cancer in studies. Europe moved ahead on this. Like I said earlier the doctors here give many things for osteoporosis, but if there is a family history of breast cancer they give the EVISTA for the osteo. That is the way they work around it. Dr Cross says they have become more lax in the US about giving Evista just for a family hx of breast ca. Says it can reduce your chances by as much as 30%.
Please investigate there, see a good GYn oncologist if you can. He or She will know if it is right for you.
I'm glad this subject came up Mon. It could save your life. I don't want to see you suffer the way your mom did.

Victor
sorry about your Dad and thanks for sharing.
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MistyJm
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Post by MistyJm »

Thanks so much Twilla. :) I wonder why doctors never told me about this. I am going to check it out for sure. And print out info I can find and take with me. If this can reduce with 30%, that is something I need to do.

And I am not dead just yet. :wink: Hell no, got so much to live more. There's love, there's life. :D

I have no time to die. :lol:

Thanks for all your support and help sweet Twilla. I thank you so much love. :D
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Eni
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Post by Eni »

Silver Forest wrote:My dad died on the hospital after a stroke. We left him and went home feeling positive about his recovery but he died on that night. Those moments in the morning after being informed are printed on my mind. I wasn't there and can't avoid feeling blame. Makes no sense but I can't avoid.

Reading your lines, Mon, I remembered being told by him of a similar experience with his grandmother. I never asked him again about that day.
Sorry to talk about this. Not easy and I thought twice about it but I felt compelled to do so.
Didn't see this post before Silver Forest, and I'm sorry about your experience. I know this isnt the same thing, but I had this lovely cat who loved me so much, and one day he just disappeared but the problem is we had to move. I kept calling for him and calling for him, and looking for him until we moved a week later. What if we came back after we had moved? :cry: :cry: I also nursed kittens, and they died, I saved one, but I couldn't help thinking that I could have saved the rest by looking for them more.

Anyway, on a more positive note... I asked E to do 'the Changeling' for me and he did!! He just recently uploaded it, hehe. Very exciting.

It's here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FwrZzOL ... annel_page
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twilla
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Post by twilla »

Your welcome Mon
let me know

Thanks for the post ENI
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MistyJm
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Post by MistyJm »

Dragonfly - 1968 psychedelic Band Vlissingen, Netherlands
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQbaJwv995c

Dragonfly - Prince of Amboyna ( outrageous Dutch psych '68)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbmwsV2A ... re=related

Dragonfly - Celestial empire ( Dutch psych masterpiece '68 )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qr_-OrMj ... re=related


Pink Floyd - Live at the UFO club (march '67
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6Z6qS88 ... re=related
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TheDoorsMusic
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Post by TheDoorsMusic »

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MistyJm
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Post by MistyJm »

:shock: lmao :lol: :lol: The picture alone was already breath taking but this is stunning. :lol:
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twilla
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Post by twilla »

:lol: :lol:

This is political (US)and animated- Toby Keith
http://www.cmt.com/videos/toby-keith/42 ... id=1618623
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Eni
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Post by Eni »

Wow, that is something else. Thanks... But what is that retarded noise in the background :lol: :lol: Made me laugh though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPf-Oeep ... re=related - Just favourited this. Useful info.
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MistyJm
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Post by MistyJm »

Really great old footage.

10th year Pinkpop festival Celebration Holland in 1979.
With performances from Dire Straits, Peter Tosh, Rush.

Tiende maal het Pinkpop Festival (1979)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWi9YRPM ... 0B&index=0

And Dutch-Indonesia band
Massada - Sageru 1979
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5HYmWJ5O0A

(to shake your butt on)
wha happened
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Post by wha happened »

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jamestkirk
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Post by jamestkirk »

Nice Sonoran Desert avatar, wha!
"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music".

-Aldous Huxley
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Lauren
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Post by Lauren »

jamestkirk wrote:
Nice Sonoran Desert avatar, wha!
Ya it is....it almost looks like a Tucson or Phoenix sunset.....

Cant say I have seen one THAT nice here in Yuma, but I certainly have seen some funky ones-- with odd shaped clouds, pink colors, blue colors, looks like it will rain....but never actually does.
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jamestkirk
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Post by jamestkirk »

Lauren wrote:
jamestkirk wrote:
Nice Sonoran Desert avatar, wha!
Ya it is....it almost looks like a Tucson or Phoenix sunset.....

Cant say I have seen one THAT nice here in Yuma, but I certainly have seen some funky ones-- with odd shaped clouds, pink colors, blue colors, looks like it will rain....but never actually does.
It takes that special combination that Phoenix and Tucson have......cacti, mountains, dust.....and smog. :wink:
"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music".

-Aldous Huxley
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