Listen, I’m going to get right to the point. I went to the LOVE message board and read that really silly note Mr. PIRATE posted. I won’t even call PIRATE one-dimensional, for fear of insulting stick people everywhere. But when someone says that the band that you people have seen WORKING THEIR ASSES off playing those incredible songs with passion and reverence is a bunch of “Dirty Metal Kids” and calling the singer “Ghetto” and even adding that no one in the band “looks Mod” AND that we didn’t have a friggin acoustic guitar during the Forever Changes songs… well boo-f*cking-hoo, PIRATE.

Was this your first rock concert? Don’t you know the difference between a orchestration production and a rock and roll show? I mean, are you stuck in a different decade or did you hit the chronic too hard before the show? Next time we play Detroit, I suggest you bust out the beta and check out your WOODSTOCK tape for the 100th time. Let’s roll it all back, right? I would think that if a 13 year old can figure out what we’re doing on this tour then maybe you could at least PRETEND to know something about music. And don’t give me that sh*t about your band opening for Rick Springfield in ’88, OK? Or the time you roadied for CSNY. You know your way to the message board so you obviously know what we’ve been accomplishing since April. You think we should stop because the band is too old or something like that you said?

Tell ya what, PIRATE, why don’t you roll out of bed and, instead of spending your unemployment check on Weed, next time go and rent some cute guys who dress Mod and pay them to learn Forever Changes. And throw in an acoustic guitar to boot.

The really sad thing about your posting is the absolute rudeness and lack of respect you show a man that has been kicking ass night after night, trying to give YOU a memorable show. And this is how you repay it by making sure everybody knows you’re an idiot. OK, so now we know. I suggest you get on with it and the next time we’re in Hockey Town, you stay home, dress up and listen to Forever Changes with some of your “by the book” hippy friends. That way, you guys can relive the past. Or maybe I have you all wrong; maybe you’re not a balding middle aged hippy with contact lenses but instead is a Verve or Oasis wannabe. Either way, you lose, PIRATE. The Dirty Metal kids will be rocking Scotland by the time you read this. And you’ll still be in Detroit, a total bummer in the summer, Chump.

Mike Randle