Dear Barry, I don’t know how to say this but, man, the Bushmills is ALMOST gone. Keep in mind, I only had a sip before we left for the UK and only really “got to know it” once I got home, which was February 7. Well, today is Feb 21, exactly 2 weeks later and this thing is seriously close to empty. As a matter of fact, I’ll give this bottle one more week (if that) before it’s dry. And that has me frightened, really frightened. I know you are in Switzerland skiing and chasing 16-year-olds around but I was wondering if you could point me in the direction of someone who could help yer pal Mike out.

See, it’s not like I don’t have another bottle of Bushmills-I do- but it’s an American version, a blended whiskey version. The bottle you sent me was straight from Ireland and it’s 100% single malt. For a whiskey, it goes down exceptionally smooth and the flavour is robust yet refined, uncomplicated yet unique. You gotta help me, Barry. I don’t know what to do! Can I get something like that here in Los Angeles?

I’ll wait for your answer; I know you’re busy and if I were in the Swiss Alps with a bunch of 16-year-old girls I probably wouldn’t be in a hurry to return my e-mails either. But, here’s to hoping you take a break and look into this for your old buddy Mike Randle. We’ve known each other now…what, almost 7 years? So, c/mon buddy. Help me out this one time. You know I’ll take care of you.

Mike Randle