well, today’s my pal, Mike “Ringo” Harrison’s birthday and i hope he has the best one. We’ve known each other now for about 11 years abut have been mates, real mates, for about 9 years. So Ringo go out, get pissed, get a curry and come home and watch TH ELAST WALTZ, as you know we would do, were i there. But i shall be in York soon and shall buy you the biggest pint York has to offer. Failing that, the 2nd biggest pint. well, as i type this it’s about 5am UK time and that means i’ll be in London in just a few days time, which will be nice as i am SUFFERING here at the beach with all these bikini clad bleached blondes playing volleyball. it DOES get boring…don’t laugh! I want bad British food in a great pub and a sweet British woman to ask me if i’d fancy a cuppa tea. i think i got the food, pub and woman sussed. All i need is for it it to piss down hammer and nails and the London picture will have been completed… Nice to know that, after 2 1/2 years, a gazillion pages of testimony and investigating, Bush is still convinced Saddam was in on 911. i think they better up his dosage, ya think? Eveb weirder, someone asked Moz about reagan and all he could muster was “Why couldn’t it have been Bush” but one of my friends up him one when she suggested that why couldn’t it have been both? for the first time in a long time (or since i had a root canal) i was speechless. my mate, jackie, said something about it being sad that Blair has to be shat upon from such heights by Dubya! Wow, see wot i mean about Brit birds? gotta love em. Blair has fallen on the sword, made numoreous trips to Yankland to speak to Congress (they dont even trust Bust to talk about Iraq anymore since he has nothing new to add to his vocabulary), and has held steady with Bush during all the obvious INCONSISTANCIES (and i use the word loosely) and even more outrageous flat out LIES. Blair holds true. One would have to almost surmise that Blair even shakes Bush’s d*ck after he has a wee. Not that’s what I call a pal. am looking forward to the ANDMOREAGAIN show! the place is small but very cozy. Jackie and hannah have tix (Hil, did you get sorted?) and they are threatening to get pint crazy before the show and that’s just wot London needs; two more merry gals off Denmark street…i’ll have to set them straight. hey, know what? i miss the KEYS! i miss those guys. where are they? they were some of the funniest guys i ever met in my life. and on that tour we did with them earlier this year, i think we got pissed with them (or I GOT pissed with them) after the shows so many times and it was real fun…and there’s a story i love to tell…but i don’t know if i’ve told it in the diary or if we just kept it “in house”? ok i’ll tell it…and Brummy Jim was not too far from the scene (he was at the bar…as was Dukie…) So, after our set in birmingham (this, in Feb, i believe), me, Brummy Jim, dukie, Bryony (Keys tour manager/sound woman) and the Keys all head next door to the BAR ACADEMY for pints. after about an hour, these 2 brummy birds were on a couple of the Keys guys like a cheap suit. The women were wearing way too much make up and had on short shirts and torn stockings (for fashion?). So, as last orders neared, we all supped up and said our good byes to some of the LOVE fans and all piled into the Keys splitter bus. AND THESE 2 chicks, right? so i ask for a ride back to my hotel and we work our way in that direction. the Keys, you see, had to go to another town where we were to play the next night (Ayesbury? Cambridge?). So, as we pull up to my hotel, one of the Keys tell the girls, they’ve got to get out at my hotel and that I MIGHT oblige them entertainment for the remainder of the night. they were piss drunk and seemed up for anything. I immediately let it be known that they COULD NOT come into the hotel, let alone anything else they had on their mind. So the Keys told them they would have to take a taxi from my hotel then. And then it started to snow…so they had to make up their minds. And their decision was to get back in the bus. it was then that, the Singer, who is a super nice bloke warned the birds (in his Welsh accent): “Ladies, if you’z come out with us to the next town and hotel, we’ll have to make sure you’z gets a right seein’ to” and with that, they were gone. And it’s times like that, on the road, she just grin and a good night’s sleep becomes a precious comodity.

Mike Randle