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Mike Randle


“Any Scorpios in the house?”
November 13, 2002

Well, today is Neil Young’s birthday and there seem to be quite a few November birthdays going on. There’s my buddy, Irish Barry, whose b/day is Saturday (as well as someone on the message board…Lizzy B, maybe?), my Mum’s is on the 15th, MINE is on the 18th and our good pal, Jimi Hendrix was born 60 years ago on the 27th of November. So, here’s a toast (I am actually raising my glass!) to all the scorpions of the world; remember, it IS all about you! And when people complain and say you are a selfish lover or something to that affect, just smile and tell em to pass the remote.

So, like most of you, I now know that we are playing at BB KING’S club in Universal City next wed. For any of you who have never been to the City Walk (as we call it), it’s located in North Hollywood, about 10 min from the Hollywood Bowl and right next to Universal Studios and Universal Records and film. Speaking of Universal, one of their best bands, The SOundtrack of our lives, are playing the troubadour on my birthday (mon) and we have the same booking agency so you know where I’ll be, come 11pm, and completely out of my idiot.

Now, there are a lot of kick back jobs in the world but i was always let to believe the most “cushiony” work was in Buckingham palace. I thought everything was just honky dory, you know, easy ridin’. Boy was I wrong. Turns out, ol Chucky’s got some buggars running the palace and even the Queen is havin a go at it to pervert (no pun intended) justice in order to let the Butler (aka, STICKY FINGERS) off the Royale Hook.

Seems as though, mizz Q thought the Butler was gonna sing like a bird (and boy did he ever…) so she stepped in and remembered at the last minute that he was given ALL 382 ITEMS as gifts, Thanks Mum. I owe you one. Now where is Obi Won when you need him? What the f*ck in heaven’s name is going on in that 400 million dollar buggar den?

But thy Brits need not worry; the USA press has been ordered (by our own Monarchy….THE BUSH MONARCH)to remain mum regarding the Palace romping that even has Holly Johnson blushing. Relax, don’t do it..but it’s too late…but, no need to worry cause CHUCKY HAS ORDERED AN INTERNAL INVESTIGATION…Oh! so that’s what those guys were doing in the pub! Good luck…suckaz….England will never be the same…WAIT, what am i talking about! The Royal family are made of teflon..these buggary bullets will bounce off them like water on an oil slick…

So, I would just like to offer my support to the poor, unfortunate bloke who got reemed by the aristocracy, both literally and figurativly. You’ll get a settlement and you can go away somewhere and live the life and hopefully heal the emotional pain. As for the Prince and Queen and the rest of the palace circus; they’ll come out of this smelling like roses. The people at the top always do. Remember, the only that seperates WWIII from peace is 541 votes in Florida…

Mike Randle


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