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Mike Randle

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“Day 8, part 1: Cracker Barrel experience in Montana”
July 30 2002

I think it’s time I really started to rate the hotels and food on this trip. What, you think so too? Great. let’s start with the TLC INN in Bozeman. Nice rooms, nice place. quiet and cozy. lots of channels. No porn, but I don’t care about that. (however, there are members of this entourage who are a bit more adventurous than I am)

After my 7am wake up call, I got some coffee, juice and something like a cinnamon-raison pastry. not bad. We drove 140 miles to the place where the 90 hwy and the 94 hwy meet. But right before that was a CRACKER BARRELL so of course we had to stop there. By this time it was about noon. We could have got there alot earlier but cars came to halt on the hwy due to some stupid construction. But the grub was good and our waitres, Helena, was a real nice lady. Funny, but the people at the hotel in Bozeman were a little on the strange side. Now they were nice but there’s something to that LIBERTARIAN attitude that’s a bit scarry. I bought some postcards and they guy gave me my change in canadian coins. When I pointed it out to him, he just said, “well it might as well be washers. Most people don’t notice. “And I”m thinking,”Man, you better give me my change before I…”

Out other than that general american freedom malitia inbred weirdness, these people are cool. And montana is such an absolutely beautiful site…maybe you can’t blame some of the mountain folk for their,”Dam Government” bumper sticker. And, although many of you give me a hard time for my spelling, the bumper sticker spelled DAM just the way I wrote it! Which is funny, but not as funny as the shirt a lady wore that said,” Mamas, don’t let your cowboys grow up to be baby’s” Now, even I know how to spell Babies. I have to admit, I’m diging the cowboy hat thing. Arthur sports a nice one and I’ve been thinking if I wear one maybe one of these local barefoot birds might put down the plow and say hello for a change. Of course, that would get her boyfriend all riled up over nothing. But hey, I’m a nice guy and most people like me after the get to know me. Her dad just might take a liking to me. I mean, how many times do you get to meet a girl’s ex-boyfriend and father at the same time? (ouch…ok, I’ll leave the big sky hicks alone…)…I’m sorry..it’s making me laugh! I can see it now; “Dad, get off me, I’m seeing someone! And besides, yer crushin’ my smokes!”

For those of you keeping score at home, we’re about 90 miles from the North Dakota border. With all these buffalo and deer and mountains and stuff, my damn cellphone can’t connect. So, we have to use our CB hand radios (CB stands for “Citizen Band”), but the problem is I’m riding with Rusty and Chap is with Daddyo and Chapple keeps calling us on the CB pretending to be a flambouyantly gay trucker named Carlos.

Such is life on the road in the USA.

Mike Randle

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