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Mike Randle


“Stupid and drunk at 4am…”
August 27 2002

It is approx. 4:04 am in York. I am on my 4th shot of tequila and feel as though I could land a 747 and eat a Philly cheese steak at the same time. I received a nice e-mail from my friend back in Los Angeles, LG, who is a keyboardist of a famous rock group and who just left that group for yet another going-to-be-without-a-doubt-famous rock group and she plans to do a solo record so I am terrifically happy for her. She asked about Baby Lemonade, which I thought was just so nice. We are going to have a nice latte upon my arrival in the city of angels in September. Nice to have good friends, I say.

I asked Toni to wake me up around 8am but it’s like 4am so what was I thinking? And isn’t Ringo so lucky as to have such a beautiful, loving partner like Toni? If I were her, I’d left him years ago. He’s always playing the records HE WANTS TO HEAR and always leaving a mess. But he did wash dishes after dinner tonight (I was pretending to be in the washroom, making myself unavailable…) but maybe that was a ruse intended to pull the wool over my eyes? I don’t know about that Ringo. He also manages Rock acts like The Halcyum Band and co-manages the Wondermints and has also had a hand in ruining my and Rusty’s solo careers.

So, you can say Ringo has done it all. But, be sure that, he is a part of the LOVE family and the singer thinks well of him. Of course, all these bullocks I’m typing is all in fun! Toni has made a wise choice and so has Ringo. I’m happy for the two of them in that, not everyone finds that one true love. And when you do, you’d be smart not to let it get away. But who cares about me talking about that stuff? PIRATE doesn’t care. He’s probably ordering his “Wanker Removal Kit” on e-bay so he can take out guitar solos he disapproves of. Speaking of him, please…no offense but NO MORE PIRATE OR WANKER E-MAILS, ok? If you think I’m a wanker, fine. If you think PIRATE’s a wanker, even better. BUT STOP TELLING ME ABOUT IT…PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! (sorry…lost my head there…)

Ok, now I wonder what Henry Miller would say about PIRATE? Does anyone out there like HM? Seems that folks held it against him just because they made a movie about him…and leave it to the french to start those kinda rumours, huh? Dang…Speaking of the french, they plan to invade holland august 30 at the NIGHTOWN club. Be forewarned, Dutchesses and Dukes; the Frogs are comign and there is naught that you can do about it. They plan to drink your Wine and eat your pancakes. My question is this; what do you plan to do about it? I know for a fact they plan to invade sometime around 7pm adn plan to stay up all night and wreak all sorts of havic and unchristian like temptations. I for one, plan to have a nice table with roasted chicken, potatoes and a fine bottle a Napa Valley’s finest Merlot. I am only interested in all things Culinary but i suspect the Frogs will simply take over. I hope i can remain on their good side. be certain that they ARE coming. Wouldn’t it be a shame if there were more French in a dutch show than the dutch? (kinda like there were more Candians at that Buffalo show than Yanks?…)

Well, I feel I’ve said enough terribly stupid things for tonight and I suppose I derserve almost everything I get (or don’t get!). I could use a nice steak right about now, medium rare thank you very much. And to my vegetarian friends, my deepest apologies; I too am a scorpio and know your pain. Now pass the A1 please.

Mike Randle


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