If you picked ‘October 28’ in your office pool for the “Karl Malone starts saying he’s not paid enough to put up with this sh*t” day, then start ‘high fivin’ now cause you most definitely won. The Lakers open tonight here in L.A. at the Staple Center (aka THE ZEN DOME) against those patsy Dallas Mavericks in about 8 hours and Shaq and Kobe have already started to send the season in a death spiral.

In a scene right out of ‘All My Children’ and with enough blind stupidity to make even Donald Rumsfield giggle, our Laker heroes are calling each other names in the media. Didn’t we got thru this already… like 3 times? I thought Shaq was Kobe’s ‘big brother’? Not anymore I guess cause Shaq told the LA TIMES that it was HIS team now. Well, Kobe told ESPN last night that Shaq was fat, out of shape and that he was fakin’ his toe injury last year. Ouch! Shaq? Fakin’ the jake? Say it ain’t so!

Now for all her conniving and backstabbing, Susan Lucci never had it this bad, no matter what the situation. And who needs a tv soap opera when you can just follow the Laker feud? But I was so heartbroken when they lost to San Antonio last year. I hate the Spurs. Hate em. Once we got Gary Payton and Karl Malone I was wondering what is would be like to go 82-0 in the regular season and 16-0 in the playoffs. Now i just hope they make the playoffs and Kobe stays on the team. Come on guys, apologize, shake hands – do what you gotta do – and go out there and bring your city another NBA championship.

Mike Randle