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Mike Randle


“Virginia is for LOVErs”
October 28, 2003

‘Deep Throat’ porn star LINDA LOVELACE

We rolled into Alexandria on that Monday, passing by Washington d.c. and all that stuff. everyone checked into their rooms and since it was a day off we all got to relax. a little while later everyone one except the singer and I went to see d.c. I was dead tired and sat and watched some CNN before taking a hot bath and a very long nap.

on the tube was bush who actually said that the world was a safer place since he became president. he said it with a straight face but the real surprise was that none of the journalist said anything. although any poll you take in any country (including his own) will say the opposite, the media who were present swallowed this incorrect statement in a way that would have impressed even linda lovelace. welcome to washington, i figured. i guess it doesn’t matter if it’s monica or the whitehouse press corp: a blow job is a blow job.

the rest of the gang returned around halftime of the Raider/ Chief’s MNF game. Typically, the Raiders were being killed with penalties. There are real problems in Raider Nation. So we all started drinking beers and stuff and wine and then Dave Chapple, aka Mc Guyver, ‘jimmy rigged’ the tv in Paula’s room and soon we were listening to some funny songs. see, we have this friend who used to work for Virgin records and his job was to listen to all demos and pass on the material that was ‘strong.’ well, our friend, George, have SAVED the ones that were just unbelievably bad. one in particular was by a guy named ‘Brian’ who couldn’t hit a note if the note was water and he was falling out a boat.

but his tunes were so funny…and not meant to be either! so we all were drinking and then the true entertainment happened when i popped in a CD i had of Tenacious D live at largo in 1999. if any of you have ever heard these guys, well, you’d know what i mean. so we all just chilled and listened to music for the longest time. but Paula was rooming with Ana and Ana was tired and so the party got moved to me and Chapple’s room. but then something funny happened. somebody was whistling. from across the balcony. on the same floor. wearing a easter bunny colored nighty. standing in the door. whistling. mike f took a look and then someone (i cannie remember whom) made the bold statement: IT’S HOOKER!

she was out there trying to earn a buck. capitalism in action courtesy of the world’s oldest profession. we went back in a listen to some more tunes. after awhile it was near 3am. everyone was gone except one, who’d fell asleep on my bed. but just as i was about to kick her out Paula popped up and jetted over to her room. it had been a long day but, before i had taken my nap, i took a walk around and, this being my 3rd time in Virginia, am always impressed by the manners people in Virginia have.

Mike Randle


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