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Mike Randle


Have it your way
December 10, 2003

here in the good ol USA we like to eat hamburgers. loads of them. when i am in England i practically wee myself silly when I see their idea of what a hamburger is supposed to look like and taste like. but i also i subscribe to the idea that, if you dont know what you are missing you are much better off.

but this week i decided to be a total pig and put some of these to the test. now, I didn’t go to each place this time but I HAVE been to some before and i have a very good memory when it comes to food

Big Mac® Serving Size: 7.8 oz (219 g) MANTRA: Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.

This is the classic cholesterol special. that twinge you feel in your veins is the special sauce oozing through your arteries. but when you are starved and it’s been awhile, cmon; BIG MAC ATTACK!!! more like BIG MAC HEART ATTACK! I swear these used to be bigger. and I am old enough to remember when they were just 75 cents. ======

The Original WHOPPPER® Sandwich has been doing its thing since 1957. MANTRA: HAVE IT YOUR WAY®

This is a fire-grilled classic and everything you would expect from a great-tasting burger – 1/4 pound of beef, red ripe tomatoes, crisp lettuce, creamy mayonnaise, ketchup, crunchy pickles and onions all on a freshly baked bun. the fact that it’s not fried is a total plus, in my opinion, and it packs a wallop when it comes to flavor. i love mine with everything on it, extra tomatoes.

ORIGINAL TOMMYS MANTRA: if the shack ain’t on the sack, take it the f*ck back

They serve hot dogs, french fries and tamales in all their locations – but their ORIGINAL TOMMY Burger made them World Famous. Every burger is prepared to order, and extra portions of chili, tomato, onions, pickle or mustard are served at no extra charge. try THAT in manchester and you will be drawn and quartered, i promise you. =====

THE DOUBLE DOUBLE MANTRA: IN & OUT, thats what a hamburgers all about.

The double double is two 100% pure beef patties, hand-leafed lettuce, tomato, spread, two slices of American cheese, with or without onions, stacked high on a freshly baked bun. if you are hungry for a burger and not into chili (like Tommys), you simply cannot go wrong at IN & OUT. There is ALWAYS line, its affordable and you will almost never get a bad burger. plus they make great chocolate shakes. what more do i need to say? =====


Dave Chapple took me to this place in 1996 and I couldn’t believe how good it was. I ate a double burger, got back in line, and got another. and that was the only time i ever went. but it’s in Silverlake so if you live there or plan to go there (like on your way to my DEC 19 SPACELAND show), stop by for sure.

Now, normally I would have reviewed the Carls Jr. SUPER STAR but i had a bad run in with Carls about 2 years ago. basically, they were running an ad on their website that said, if i printed out the coupon and brought it in, i would get a free soda, provided i bought a burger. so i printed it out and brought it to the Carls jr. on Santa Monica BLVD, just east of 26th street, in Santa Monica (directly accross the street from the Mc Donalds that O.J. and KATO went to the night of the murders) and guess what? the manager, a real TWIT named HECTOR, refused to honor it! So i contacted the corporate headquarters and they got back to me PROMPTLY with a typical corporate apology but no coupon. not even an offer to reimburse me for the soda. so i have never gone back. their loss.

Mike Randle


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