Barstool Blues Controversy
July 17, 2004
Controversy? WHAT controversy? Ok, I admit that was simply to get your attention, kinda like what Michael Moore does, which is a lot cheaper actually than invading a country (now THAT gets daddy’s attention, doesn’t it? Look Daddy, I got the bad man who wanted you dead!!!!) But y’see, this isn’t about politics. it’s about music and the HUGE question of how does one talk about their music and themselves without sounding like a complete schmuck? Impossible, I tell thee.
I get, on average, about 100 or so emails a week from people who NEVER have emailed me and I don’t even know them (which makes it super exciting) but the nice thing is, well, mostly they want to say thanks for playing in LOVE and this is usually followed by nice, gushing words about ALL the fellers in the group and I certainly think it’s well deserved. At this point, once I am combing thru their emails (obviously searching for references to myself) and then, once I am convinced they have had their say, i do my BARSTOOL BLUES push. And, well, it’s easier said than done.
First off, if i’m not handed the “Mike, I can’t get this damn PAY PAL thing to work”, i’m bombarded with “Mike, when is the record coming out and can I get it at Ameoba records in Hollywood?” Now, the way I handle trouble makers of these sorts are this; I (politely) explain to them that I am really stupid when it comes to that stuff (true) and that the record is out (not true) but then i feel guilty fibbing so i come clean. Really, the record is gonna be available (today being July 16) about the last week of July.
See, it was supposed to done by mid january but i had a SERIOUS emotional break down and my life was simply in a bizarre vortex of mammoth proportions.But enough about me! WAIT, this IS about me! Ok, enough about me…let’s talk about…er….ME! well, as a patient wonderful lover of music, once you have the Cd you can chill and listen to it and say, well Mike, i waited this long for THIS? Or you can say, wow…i wouldn’t want to be HIM. So, you the listener, have the advantage of putting it on yer stereo while you do dishes. i had to LIVE it, fer chrysler sakes. Oh, it wasn’t that bad but it does sound better in intereviews if you kmake it look like you suffered. Well, i did suffer, but it was mostly due to Moto and English Breakfasts i’d indulged in for the last 2 year.
I won’t even go into ‘recovery breakfast’ terminology because my friends stateside already think i make up stuff like ‘black pudding’. I SWEAR, i am not making it up! it’s cooked blood pudding! Trust me, fellas! And they fucking LOVE IT, pal. L-O-V-E it. So, chill. Ok, so now back to BARSTOOL BLUES. I end every email with this: thanks…oh yeah, buy the record! www.ochre.co.uk and i know EXACTLY what yer thinking: “You know Mike, THE LEAST your label could do is PUT the damn thing out!” Well, smarty pants, they ARE and it shall be in your mailbox very shortly. By the way, there are no moneyback guanrentees, with the one exception of New Jersey. Why New Jersey? Why not?
And so, I truly hope this has made the difference in your purchase plans! I was asked to write something that could be used as marketing and so, here it is! Oh, i never studied marketing but i am a big fan of ‘winging it.’ Did i ever mention i was the checkers champ in 5th grade? Oh, i was encouraged to say something to garner sympathy, something related to my childhood. Ok, how about this; i learned my first naughty word at age 5 but didn’t understand it till i was 8. Someone once asked me if i REALLY ate at Pink’s. The answer is YES.
Now, you KNOW how i cannot resist politics and i was just giggling today when i noticed that the new Iraq Democracy has installed martial law. Oh, and their Constitution was actually written by, er, US and um…the guy who is over to enforce it (or stand by it?) ain’t never been to Iraq. But that’s ok. Just don’t tell the Sunnis he’s Orthodox Jewish or somebody might lose their head again (and not just figureatively…)…and so those are my notes for today…everyone have a happy weekend…tomorrow we anylize the Laker trade that sent Shaq packing to Miami…it’s proper bo, i tell thee.