It was our day off and so we checked into our hotel about 1 mile from town centre. Just as we were checking in, Hannah’s taxi pulled up and she was a sight for sore eyes! We got our room and Han made us tea just as Holly Oaks was on and so we watched that and then a bit of Big Brother, which I had gotten pretty obsessed with, thanks to the lovely lady that was sipping tea next to me. And of course Jackie thought me an absolute knob for watching B.B. but I couldn’t help myself! I was even watching Big Brother’s little brother; you know, that show where they discuss Big Brother? Well, a few hours later we went into town and found a cool pub and had a great meal and pints. Just as we were leaving, Rusty, Chapple and Daddyo wondered in simply by chance!

So we all had more pints and i corrected Hannah for pronouncing the “ET” on the end of “Fillet.” But since it’s commonly mispronounced in Britian, the Brits think that’s ok! C’MON! The Brits say, “Fill it” instead of “fill lay” and so right there is something Hannah and I fight about. Well, not really fight. And trust me, I’ve had my share of food-related fights with girlfriends so i know a real fight when i see one. Ours are totally in jest. As a matter of fact, this may sound terrible but i once dumped a plate of spaghetti over an ex-girlfriend’s head. I was enjoying a great meal and she was determined to fight me while i ate so I got frustrated and dumped it on her head. First she started to cry. Then broke into hysterical laughter. Suffice it to say she never bothered me again while i was eating pasta.

After that Hannah and i looked all over creation for the tour bus but couldn’t find it anywhere. We did, however, find a pub, which was good enough for me so i ordered a half of Stella. Then we found the bus but no one was on it. We heard music inside the venue and so decided to have a look. And what we found shocked us to no end. It was a barn dance of David Lynch-like proportions. And, in the corner trying to pull, dressed up and with there hair pomped were none other than Frazer and Derek! And they were drinking white wine! Where was the camera, I thought? So we chuckled at these weird, inbred freaks dancing to a completely diabolical band until we couldn’t take it anymore and headed to quite possibly the worst place to go to on a Saturday night in a small town at 11pm; a late night O’NEIL’S. Everyone was there to pull and it was extremely crowded and uncomfortable and after 2 Grey Hounds (vodka and grapefruit juice), me and Han taxi’d back to the hotel and went to the hotel bar and kept that open till 1am drinking Beck’s out the bottle. Headed back to our room and caught some more B.B. Said our prayers and went to bed.

Mike Randle