Now, if you recall, early on I mentioned that you are only supposed to wee in the bus loo, not poo. Well, when we taxi’d from Ringo’s house back to the tour bus we were met by Ross who said he had some bad news. First, we’d got a parking ticket. Second, the bus wouldn’t start so we had to wait for a repairman and, third, someone had done the unthinkable and taken a poo and, according to Ross, it was Frazer. But Frazer was so drunk the night before and passed out and was still passed out so we had to take his word for it. So Ross told us we could walk around or shop or whatever, just don’t wander too far and take your mobile with. So Daddyo and I went to the Evil Eye to use their computers (it’s a café upstairs) and we were there for 15 minutes when Ross called, but, before I left, I thought about how the ride to Wolverhampton would take about 2 hours or so and I saw the loo wasn’t occupied…

Once we were back on the bus and rolling, about an hour into our journey Frazer woke up and sat next to me in the lounge. So I decided to be the first to tell him he was the accused. Frazer denied it 100%, but everyone else denied it as well. So, who did it then? No one else was on the bus. But wait, a few fans peeked in the get autographs, so, maybe, one of them, took liberties? Ross was standing by his Frazer story, but Frazer has toured with many groups (Status Quo and The Doves to name a few) and has NEVER poo’d on a tour bus. Ross still wasn’t buying it. So we decided to hold a court of law. Ross would be the judge, I would represent Frazer and the rest of the guys would hear the testimony. But first I needed Frazer to tell me the truth, the whole story. See, Ross said Frazer was really ill from drinking the night before and may not remember doing it, Frazer denied this assertion as bollocks. And so, for the day, we left it at that.

Pulled into the venue (Robin 2) about 3pm and the club had sandwiches, tea, coffee, snacks and beer for us, per our tour rider contract (some clubs are forgetful and need to be reminded of this…also we have a NO CARLING rule that does get broken from time to time), and then we chilled on the bus and watched some tennis and stuff. Then we changed our guitar strings and then we sound checked. See, while we were doing that, Kose and Troels set up and test the equipment and sound system so the show sounds as good as possible. After we sound checked, the club served us a tasty homemade meal which consisted of beef lasagne, Spanish chicken, rice, potatoes salad and dessert, I passed on the dessert but it was sure good to have a meal for a change. Hannah gets on at me for eating crap and she also makes sure I exercise properly. So she was happy about that, as one can imagine. Went and took a nap then I went to the venue and saw my friend Fay and her 2 cousins. Said ‘Hello’ to them and also to our friend Lisa who was hanging with Brummy Jim. Had a beer and a chat and then went for another nap.

Slept about 90 minutes when I was woken by Ross who told me I had 5 minutes before show time (I really had 15) so I got dressed and then we hit the stage and played, what, I felt, was a really good show. Afterwards we signed some autographs and then chilled on the bus. Oh and Fay, being such a sweetie, offered to help me by taking my laundry and getting it washed! (And I thought typing these diaries was a dirty job?!! LOL CP) So I offered to buy them all lunch tomorrow, fair enough! Rang Hannah and said I was thinking of going to bed but then Kose, Frazer and Derek were talking about hitting a bar. They talked me into it but turns out the bar was closed so we went back to the bus and I was fast asleep in no time while the other guys played loud music and drank wine and had a regular piss-up.

Mike Randle