I hate San Antonio. my mother, bless her, was born on poplar street in San Antonio back when 75% of the neighborhood spoke Spanish. and i’m old enough to remember the old building the spurs used to play in, in the 70’s and very early 80’s. i never liked that city and even today it’s one of those texas cities i dread visiting. now, see, i love austin, i like houston adn dallas is nice too. plus, a fella really can’t get enough of that drippy texas drawl them thar southern belles lay on you. lines like, “How’s yallz band?” we are going fine, honey, just fine. put that next to a plate of SALT LICK BBQ RIBS, some collard greens, potatoes salt, and down-home buttery cornbread AND soem corn on the cob and, well, you’d have to convince me i hadn’t dies and gone to heaven. and that’s where the dream stops. No more NBA champoinships in texas this year. no sir ree. LAKERS kicked them boys in the butts good n plenty and sent em packing. they’ll be crying in their grits today, trying to figure out how Kobe can fly from Colorado at 4pm and put up 42 points 2 hours later and steal game 5. or how little Derek Fisher – the engine that could – could throw up ALL SWISH on that chump, Ginobli, and basically scar the daylights outta them Spurs. See, everyone counted my Lakers out when they went down 2-0 but our local sports radio guy here, Vic “the brick” Jacobs, called it…Laker’s would win in 4 games straight and everyone called him crazy. And it’s so good to see Chalres “ain’t no ring on my finger” Barkely eat crow after the Lakers became only the 4th team in NBA history to come back from a 2-0 deficit and win the series. Sir Charles, would you like some hot sauce and salt and pepper on that crow? Yes, texas, you can have Bush and the Spurs – both losers – and we’ll keep the girls and the BBQ, not to mention the chili. California’s where it’s at. Dodgers and Angels are in first place. all we need is a football team and we’d be rounded out again. But as far as texas goes, better luck next time guys. you fellers are soft soft soft. Shaq woke up and started actually rebounding…and (gulp) making his freethrows! and at one point in the 4th quarter, i thought it was a game of football the way Shaq sent those foulers scooting on the wood. So, heed thy call, Spurs fans, go back to your lawn mowers, hammicks and lemonade. It’s gonna be a long,hot summer in san antonio. i hope your couch is comfy.

Mike Randle