March 10, 2006
Well, in a few days’ time all of America will sitting on the edge of their couch, gripped with curiosity. This Sunday the two-year wait for The Sopranos’ 6th season will be over. A collective sigh of relief can be heard from the Space station as I write this. Hospitals will put surgeries on hold. Police are letting the crooks get way. Metermaids are tearing up their ticket books. Whatever it takes, we must all tune in to see what Tony Soprano will do next.
Sure, Tony whacks people at the drop of a dime but see, he doesn’t take chances; that’s why he’s the Boss. Johnny Sack (his NY rival) lost the plot. That’s why Johnny’s sitting in jail and Tony’s running the show. And when “T” isn’t wacking his sister’s boyfriends (or hacking them and burrying them dismembered), he’s taking out a cousin or two or one of his ‘Captians’ who may be talking to the Feds (Like Big Pussy Spampinato did.) I’m looking forward to it all. Anyway, you can find them all down at the BADA BING! having drinks and nachos. Only on HBO.
Also, in a fairly obvious attempt to expand the Baby Lemonade family, both Dave Green (and wife Traci), as well as Mike “Ringo” Harrison (and wife Toni) have both had beautiful babies in the last 2 weeks. Dave and Traci had little “Nevin” nearly 2 weeks ago and Toni and Mike had little “Evie” today! So, we wish them all a very loud and merry Mozoltov!
The Lakers are ready for the playoff push and I have some advice for them; have the offense MOVE around when Kobe’s got the ball. See, Kobe gets the rock and then all those millionaires space out and wait for the ball to go through the hoop. The other team can’t believe their luck and easily triple team Mr. MVP, forcing him to miss a 20-footer. And the other four laker mannequins don’t even bother to rebound sometimes. These guys have NO PROBLEM cashing very large checks.
As if to put a fine point on it, NBA hotshot, Stevie “Franchise” Francis just got traded to his 4th or 5th team in his 6-year career. Getting it Bass Ackwards, he summed it up to teams “obviously wanting him.” The idea that they DIDN’T want him – which is why they keep trading him – is lost on Franchise. But my favorite bit is the other night, in NY’s Madison Square Garden, some wise-ass shouted, “Yo’ Francis, where you headed next!” and chuckled to all his buddies. Without missing a beat, Francis shouted back, “To the Bank.” Spoken like a true NBA baller.
If England ever wants to see what it’s like to be America, simply allow unchecked Political donations and lobby money to infiltrate your Democracy. Even your tea will begin to sour. Our Politicians are dishonest, corrupt and ruthless. it’s like Desperate Housewives in Washington D.C. And just think; 10 years ago we were crying foul over BJs. I bet you’d take that BJ over Iran and Iraq these days, wouldn’t ya? Well, the good times, I fear, are over. It’s every woman (and man) for themselves. Where will YOU be on judgment day? (….at the Pub. Where else? HELLO!!! )
It’s raining here in Los Angeles, which automatically raises the terror level threat. And I was way confused when I read that our folks thwarted an A.Q. plan to fly a plane into the Library Tower in Downtown L.A. One can only assume that the terrorist were privy to our intelligence and was actually trying to fly into the “Liberty Tower.” I know what you are thinking; Hey Mikey, there AIN’T NO LIBERTY TOWER IN L.A.. I know, I know. But see, that’s what the Prez was calling it, over and over. So these rascally Malaysian Terrorist (and how demeaning it must be to be a South Pacific A.Q. Member!) got the wrong info and i figure, by th time they realized they were duped by our brilliant Commander In Cheif, Homeland Secuirty were on to them. Bush: 2/ Terror 1.
Now, I understand why these guys have a thing about tall buildings. Tall buildings represent the male obsession with phallic images, according to Freud. But some people thought freud was an idiot. However, the Washington Monument is long and hard so either A.Q. ARE fixed on our pre-occupation with phallic images or the terrorist themselves get a rise out of crashing planes into tall buildings. i can’t put my finger on it. To me, the ugliest tall building in LA is the US BANK building. US BANK used to be my bank until they overchaged me repeatedly and I had to run for the hills – or in this case, bank of america. or BANKRUPTING AMERICA, as the Venice Beach Graffiti Artist have taken to spray painting on the B of A billboard ads. if any of our boys charged with securing us banked at US BANK and knew of a plot, well let’s just say I wouldn’t want to work in that building.
I know you are wondering why i use “A.Q.” Well – and i wish i was a paranoid person…it would make life that much more exciting – I wouldn’t be surprised if the goverment is spying on emails that contain key words. This may very well be for my safety, which i appreciate. But I wouldn’t want to get on someone’s list and have my Fianc’ee delayed (or denied) upon entry just because i was making fun of the Goverment. I’ll put it this way; In the late 1960’s, while playing for UCLA, future NBA hall of famer, Bill Walton, once told the most revered of Basketball coaches, John Wooden, that he had the right to speak his mind about the Vietnam War. Wooden looked him in the eye and said, “yes you do. And I have the right to sit you on that bench for the entire season.” So, ladies and gentlemen, pick your spots WISELY. The life you save might be your own.
Also, for the record, I don’t get involved with fan disputes. I’d prefer that everyone play nice though. i don’t go to the messageboard but every now and again I hear about it. i must say, as much as i’ve written i’ve always tried to be straight with people. Except one area where I unfortunately mislead people. Now, It wasn’t my intention to mislead because I held out hope that it would bear fruit. it just didn’t happen that way. I feel a bit bad though because people were expecting a new Love record but there was never, ever one coming. Some of us were doing our best but it takes a full effort. The more people asked, the worse I felt. As far as the Love Band, we decided not to do that because even though most people wanted it (and we got some gigs offered, including a show case from Warner Brothers), the negative reaction from the small yet vocal fans was enough to show everyone that it just was not a good idea. I often wonder what things would have been like if Bryan were still around? So, I won’t mislead anymore but it was really to cover up the truth of what shape the group was really in at the time. And lastly, I called the birthday boy Wed. to wish him a happy one but his voicemail was full. Oh well, There’s always next year.
all the best,