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Mike Randle


The Weather Dips Further In Sunny California
December 1, 2006

People have asked me what I been up to and I tell them the same thing over and over; the heater broke down so I have to buy a portable one because Hannah gets too cold. I also bought a new mop and that kinda liquid that makes the floor glow. So now the floor is clean AND it glows.

My living room has a ton of gear in it from last night’s wedding jam. Rusty brought the gear back home so our friends could go on their honeymoon and not have to bother with the stuff. Amps, drums, PA stuff, keyboards…looks like a music shop.

Had a few pints with our old Santa Monica pal, Mark Cox, the other night. Mark moved to Europe about 6 years ago to work and the only time I get to see him is when either Love has played in paris (last time was with the Seeds in early 2004) or when he comes home. And he’s usually only home for a day or so before he has to fly out of the country again. it was good to catch up with him and he also expressed his sorrow at Arthur’s passing and was hopeful something unexpected might be released so people would have more music. I told him anything was possible in due time…

Now on to Hollywood stuff…living in LA (and working in Hollywood) you becomse accustomed to seeing movie stars and the like and they seem very ordinary and quite boring, yet when you see em getting chased by papparatzi they seem glamourous and pretty freaked out. I never know if the Celebs are paying the photogs to chase em or not…But in my line of Biz i deal with some of the big names quite a bit and tehy seem normal. But then there’s the ABNORMAL ones like…

Britney Spears. Ok, she has some good tunes (“Lucky”, “Toxic”, “Oops”), made some bad decisions ( Married K-Fed, Got pregnant TWICE by K-Fed, made a dumb reality show…) but now she’s hanging out with Paris everynight, hitting the clubs. Wait, ISN’T SHE A NEW MOM? Who’s watching the tykes? K-Fed? And speaking of Keven Federline, if he’s a rapper…well then i’m a ballet dancer. If you really want to laugh, go to youtube.com and type in “Keven Federline LOS CONTROL and watch him take a crack at rapping. Either he’s THAT bad and he don’t know it, which makes him LUCKY, or he’s actually doing it on purpose to have the last laugh, in that it keeps him viable as a baffoon.

But now Brits been photographed pumping gas with NO KNICKERS ON! Why in the Lord is this girl – AS COLD AS IT IS IN LA RIGHT NOW – not wearing knickers? And how is a photog so perfectly placed to get the shot of her Lady Garden without her knowing it? Now doesn’t this sound VAGUELY familiar? Remember Lindsey Lohan’s Lady Garden was splashed all over the mags when a photog shot her flashing the world? So now Brit – who wants custody of her children – has a crotch all over the internet. These girls…

Now say what you will about Paris Hilton but at least she did her video and got on with it, as far as starting her own “Paris” empire. Paris is the new Andy Warhol and she’s 10x smarter than anyone gives her credit for being. I do business with her, quite regularly and, except for the fact that her cell phone is like PERMANENTLY attached to her ear, she’s a pretty nice gal. And her sister is sweet too. Sometimes (ok most times) there are photogs following her but she never even sweats it, which is the way Celebs SHOULD be. After all, THEY hire Publicist to plant stories about where they are, what they do and who they’re with. I know. TRUST ME. I know some of the people who plant them. Yes, that’s right; MIKE RANDLE HAS GONE HOLLYWOOD. Sorry, i don’t have a choice. It’s how I earn my keep now.

I picked the Cowboys to go all the way at the beginning of the season…doesn’t look like a bad pick now, does it? Seems to me, once Drew Bledsoe gets out of the way, anything is possible…The GIANTS are having a meltdown, which should clear the way for the ‘Boys to take the division. Then it’s down to turning the Bears’ Rex Grossman back into the old rex we knew and loved. In the AFC I like the Chiefs and The Pats.

True racists are so encouraged with what’s been going on with Michael Richards that they’ve now booked time IN ADVANCE OF A PUBLIC GAFFAW on Jesse Jackson’s radio show, in order to beat the rush…although one good thing about all this is the sort of ‘pressure’ to put the “N” word to rest. I think I agree with paul Mooney; it HAS lost it’s effectiveness, as far as comedy goes, although i wouldn’t go so far as writing a rule to ban any word. Being a Libertarian, I think hard before i’d want my freedom of speech affected. Unlike mahy people in our Government, I actually CARE about the Constitution and get watery-eyed whenever i read it…..it IS worth noting that a President, when taking Oath, pledges to PROTECT THE UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION. Not the People, just the Constitution. Next time our President tells us his job “is to protect the American people”, tell him, “Nuh uh, it’s not your job. Put the comics down and read some REAL literature!”

Mike Randle

baby lemonade

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