Got up this morning and the first thing on the telly was that Lindsay Lohan was arrested about a half mile from our house. Not only was she arrested for drunk driving and not only did the cops find her stash (blow, what else?), but the dumb ass was chasing the MOM of her personal assistant who’d quit earlier in the day.

So LiLo, pissed at the assistant, drunk and high on coke, decides to ‘car chase’ mon down Main Street. The former Asst.’s mom pulled into the Santa Monica Civic Center parking lot and rang the SMPD on her mobile while still being chased by the coked up fire crotch. So how long you think it took the cops to get to the scene?

How about THEY WALKED THERE. yep, the Santa Monica Police Department is about 200 feet from that parking Lot. Nice one, Lins. So they arrested her and even as i write this, she’s still in the big house. Apparently, LiLo has blown through (no pun intended) her money and has been selling pictures of herself to the Paps to support the nose candy habit. Has it come to that? Say it ain’t so…well, at least she didn’t eat fried chicken and rub all the grease on a $2000 dress like Britney did recently…wooo….them crazy gals! Hey, how about we stick Britney, Lindsay and Paris (and Nicole) in jail and make THAT a reality show?

But in important news, England’s been hit hard by some serious flooding and, especially knowing so many Brits and having them as in-laws, we are especially concerned and hope that the rains chill out soon and the waters recede asap. And then England can go back to normal.

My good London pal, Richard “No Fizzy Keg Shite, Mate” Meehan, has informed me that he believes Posh is a 10-year-old boy with Tennis Balls stuff in the shirt and that Becks is really running the show, only pretending to be stupid. He also thinks they will join the Church of Scientology and use that position to usurp Tom Cruise as the High Priest of nutty and reap all the financial benefits of seperating insecure and confused celebs from their money. Hmmm…good theory…

Got and email from former Baby Lemonade/ Wondermints manager (and current syndicated “Breakfast With The Beatles” DJ on 97.1 here in L.A.) Chris Carter giving props to us for doing the Sgt. Pepper project in Milan. He apparently was tipped off by non other than Morley Bartnoff, the Dramarama keyboardist who plays that awesomely long piano solo on “Orland Park”, from my 2nd solo album, Barstool Blues. I never asked him if he hand cramped up on that session…

All the Best,

Mike Randle