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Mike Randle


More Useless Information
July 14, 2007

Miss New Jersey shows her excitement over Beckham playing for the LA GALAXY

Well, with all the wars and kidnappings and executions and suicides going on in the world it’s nice to know that, despite all the terrible atrocities and such, 5,000 people found the time (and took the day off) Friday to attend the David Beckham (and Cold Bitch Wife, Victoria Beckham) press conference at Home Depot Center, the place where the LA GALAXY attempt to kick the ball into the net and the new home of the most popular Footie guy in the world.

In the course of the Conference, Becks told us how he’s gonna turn the Galaxy around (the Team or the actual Milky Way?), even though the lousy buggars are in last place. And also mentioned how the Galaxy- or Major League Soccer (MLS ya’ll!) in general, are better than most of the lower-tiered Premier League teams. This visibly had the British press in attendance chuckling uncontrollably but Galaxy owners backed Becks up on this.

Becks is also going to make Soccor THE most popular sport in the U.S. & A. (er..he kept calling it Football, to which thank God we had Posh right there to correct him. “Soccer, love. Americans call it Soccer.” “Thanks Posh, now show us your T–s!” is what one paparazzi was observed yelling from the bleachers. Welcome to Los Angeles!

And speaking of Posh, her summer-long reality series has been shortened to a 1-hour NBC special this Monday. But one advert has her pitching baseballs in Dodger Stadium with a Dodgers Uniform on and wearing DAISY DUKES! And the Media has already named them DICTORIA. So they are firmly embeded in the American vernacular and all it’s glory. Oh, and Becks is gonna save the Universe. Whups, i mean Galaxy. First game, BTW, is July 21 against Chelsea. It’ll be like shooting fish in a barrell. I predict: Chelsea 15, Galaxy nil.

And all this nonsense about David Beckham and Posh and news of the Democrats and the Republicans are forever fighting over Iraq and all these clowns running for President…all this stuff has clouded airtime over the REAL stories and REAL issues. I’m talking about the SEX AND THE CITY MOVIE!!!!!!!!!

Tell me you weren’t over the moon when you got wind of THAT story! If you’re like me, you’ve worn out every possible DVD episode, seen every re-run on channel five and TBS and was just feeling lost and left out before that wonderful news! Well, here’s mud in your eye. The world’s problems will simply have to wait…

All the Best,

Mike Randle

baby lemonade

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