With these nervous times upon us, where one lunatic could push a button and leave us all looking like lunch meat and where the top world leaders are nothing more than theives, we citizens look for the answers to the pressing questions. The questions I speak of are of top priority, what we owe to ourselves in principle and what we oew to the future of mankind.

The arguement rages on with no end in site, pitting brother against sister, husband against wife, sheep against welsh, father against son. Regardless of what side you are on, sooner or later your opinion will have be known and the world waits in anticipation over the most important issue of our time: Who REALLY is cuter, Jennifer Anniston or Jennifer Love Hewitt?

Now, I know what you’re thinking…it must be Jennifer cause she’s got that rack. But hold on a minute; we need to look at the BIG picture here. We have to look before we leap. There’s more to a woman than a big rack and I’m appauled that anyone would think different. Sure, Jennifer Love Hewitt has that nice ass, gorgeous smile, “girl next door” demeanor and, of course mammalian proturbs. I mean, she’s friggin hot…the Diary cannot deny this. But let’s look at Ms. Aniston. Forget that stupid friends show. I challenge you to rent that unbelievably funny movie, OFFICE SPACE, and tell me you don’t just find her adorable in her THANK GOD IT’S FRIDAY outfit! You want to take her home and cuddle with her. And no guy wants to cuddle! She seems warm and honest and, look, let’s face it, Brad Pitt could have his pick of the litter and looked who he picked!

Now, I’m not saying J-Love isn’t a sweetie, but I get the impression that, sure, there might be a night or two of hot passion but, I think I’d find myself (after say, a week?) trying to catch the second half of the game on the tube, if you catch my drift…

So, for my money, I’m gonna go with the minority on this one. J-Love is kinda like Enron stocks; they look great on paper UNLESS you try to cash em in. Miss Anniston, on the other hand, is like IBM stocks…just sit back and watcit grow….um, the STOCKS, that is…

i got an e-mail from a woman asking if i actually write the Mike Randle Diaries. I mean,I was flattered because to me, they’re fun and it’s cool that people read em and dig it (10,000 hits a week…..damn…). But I can;t imagine anyone confusing me with Papa Hemingway so, for the record; I write 99% of this stuff. The only time i’ve laid off is when Scully (we miss you, man!), Mel “light my spliff, man!” Cicero and a few other characters have helped out when i couldn’t get to a computer. And Caryne even type one up from my handwritten notes! see, I’m crawling for this diary!

Glad I cleared that up. So, I have been busy and practically working my ass off with these new songs (and loving it) and the SINGER has been amazing and the tunes are just ringing in my head and I’ll just leave it at that. But it’ good to hear that Jazmaan and the Singer went to see Leon Hendrix. The Singer invited Rusty and I but we were too tired to go out after doing studio stuff all day. Jazmaan is one of his closet pals and it’s good that he stands up on the message board, in regards to the USA drama major. Now, I don’t have a problem myself with Ms. Trojan, but I can understand if someone might think it was a tad bit too steamy. And the funny part is she originally wrote it to ME!!!! I was like,”hey, get my name offa there!”

I’m so looking forward to this Forever Changes tour…let’s see, how many days left till we fly to England…12 weeks..can’t wait to sink my teeth into a yummy peice of Brighton haddock and a pint of John Smith’s….

Mike Randle