I’m not sure what I am going to dress up as for Halloween. Now, here in Los Angeles, you can expect some pretty wacky Costumes from “Pregnant Dorthy” to “a Gay Saddam Heissan.” LA goes for the gusto. I mean, I’m not one to celebrate stuff like this. I more or less like to see everyone else have a good time. But, when you want to see the wildest of the wildest costumes, I suggest you try out West Hollywood on October 31st. But no matter, where I wind up, I am certainly gonna walk there. Drunk driving accidents are NOTORIOUS in Los Angeles and I’ve even witnessed cars swurving so much you’d think they were at Disneyland or something. People already can’t drive here, let alone when they’re on the juice.

Speaking of the “Juice”, America’s most hated murderer-let-free, O.J. SIMPSON, is on TV offering Robert Blake “Advice” on his own murder case where he’s accused of (get this) offing his wife and saying somebody else did it (sound familiar?) Well, Blake (or “Baretta”, as we call him) is going on TV with one of those 20/20-type shows to tell his side of the story. Huh? Dude, you are in JAIL and about to go on TRIAL…shouldn’t you be telling this stuff to the JURY? But that’s LA for you…I mean maybe that’s how stupid we are but I tend the to think like the average bloke; if I’m rich and she’s spongin’ off me, and she winds up with a .22 right between the eyes…I did it…or had something to do with it. So what the hell is OJ telling him? While some of us are dressing up like goblins or ghouls, Baretta is dressing up in County Jail stripes, but it ain’t a costume! It’s the real thing…so let that be a lesson to you folks out there who want to bump off that someone who’s a thorn in your side; If you live in LA, make sure you have an air-tight alibi or a damn good costume. You’ll need it.

Mike Randle