Dear Readers, today’s Diary addition is a blatant attempt at experimental prose and is not really appropriate for children. Any similarities of characters living or dead is purely coincidental.

“A non-rhyming Hollywood Poem at 3am (with apologies to Chinaski)”

Red Light Green Light What difference does it make When yer on the phone

People yell and scream Numb Nuts, A**hole, Jerk Way ta go there, fella

And that Ferrari on the right (you mean the one blasting REO Speedwagon?) On his way to La Veckies

With his Botox, Silicone Sweetie Giving him a hand job Red Light Green Light

All he wants to know is: Did Kobe dropped “50” On the Knicks tonight? And is NASDAQ up or down?

So i turn left on Beverly (from Robertson) and another LEFT ON LA CIENEGA And

On the Left is GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS Where Pammie Anderson Got her start

I pass it up And head straight to NORMS 24 hours Steak and Eggs And the place is packed

Everyone talking about war But gas is $2 a gallon Way too much doff

But NORMS is too crowded A bunch of strippers just got off work And they are making the girlfriends And wives (who are dining) nervous

Somebody Said They Aren’t Wearing Knickers Either.

Red light Green light I guess the husbands/ boyfriends Are trying to have a peek At the “runway”, you think?

Speaking of which I hop back in the car And drive to El Segundo A.K.A. LAX To the Wild Goose

Haven’t been there in years My friend, Ryan, recommends the Linguini But it’s 4:30 am now What would Chinaski do? (wait, he’s DEAD) Everyone is looking tired The pole dancers, the door guy, the lap dancers

One of the wild geese Looks at me As if to give me the Green Light These ladies can Make a night Very Interesting.

Mike Randle