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Mike Randle


“Chili Dogs, Margaritas, and who REALLY is America’s news channel anyway?”
February 17, 2003

I got a call last night from THE NEW GUY asking if i wanted to have some lunch on Sunday. He also mentioned some wacky idea FREEDOM MAN had about the Diary’s 200 scibbling, which should happen around this time next week, and some sort of contest… (but you’ll hear more about that from Freedom Man…)

So while i waited for the the New Guy to come by, i decided to watch MSNBC, which was having a pretty typical show on the Terror Alert, with a variety of “experts” and even a guy who claimed to be an expert on Plastics and Duct tape. (Alas, i thought to myself; the comfort i once demanded is now mandatory…) But what really stood out to me was MSNBC’s claim that THEY were America’s news channel. Huh? Wait, according to Shepard Smith and Bill O’Reilly, FOX had that prestigious distinction. Someone was fibbing and i wanted to get to the bottom of it.

So i called MSNBC (1-888-msnbcusa) but the line was busy, and i must have tried about 20 times. So i decided to call Fox (1-310-fox-news) and actually got the voice mail of someone important. So i explained the problem, left my mobile number and told them i’d appreciate it if they could get back to me, preferable sooner rather later. Then i tried MSNBC again and wouldn’t ya know it…SOMEONE ANSWERED!

Of course i spend the next few minutes explaining about the “America’s news Channel” problem until i was cut off by (let’s call her “Kathy”) the MSNBC screener, who seemed a little annoyed:

Me: I don’t think both networks can claim to be America’s news channel. How do you stand on this? her: Today’s guest are terror experts and we are only taking calls that pertain to the war on terror.

Then SHE HUNG UP ON ME. I was pretty disappointed but by that time, it was 1pm and the new guy had just pulled up outside. We drove to “Pink’s” but the line was WAY too friggin’ long (more than 70 people waiting for hotdogs, ok?) so we instead drove to “Tail of the Pup”, where there was no one waiting (but then again, “Tail” isn’t on La Brea and Melrose, easily one of the most popular and trendy sunday afternoon shopping/hanging out spots). So we ordered 2 chili cheese dogs each (w/ onions) and split an order of fries. It was damn good too.

Mike Randle


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