“Now, where did I put that phone…”
July 31, 2003
Dave Jenkins picked me up around 10:30, which was AN HOUR later than he originally said but it turned out not to be his fault. These two WHAM like characters were shopping at his guitar store and were buying everything in sight – a good reason to be late if there ever was one. So we didn’t get to SPACELAND till 11pm. Jennifer wasn’t working that night (maybe cause it was an I.P.O. night? “out!”) so Jenkins and I had to cough up $8 each.
As we walked in we’d just caught ‘The Eighty-Eights’ or something like that. I couldn’t remember but everyone says they are great. So I shall pronounce it as well. THEY WERE GREAT. If all my ‘I’s are capitalized, it’s because the ‘editor’ insists on it. An abusive editor i might add, but that’s a whole ‘nuther diary. SO, we head right for the bar and there’s a couple of old, wonderful friends; Deb and George ‘Baby’ Woods. I sit next to ’em and Jenkins asks for a cola and says he’ll be right back. He goes over to chat with Pete Magdaleno, who seems to be everywhere.
I ordered a super imperial pint of an excellent ale (name escapes me) on tap and chat up Deb, who’s wearing a cool Cheap Trick shirt by the way. I made her a copy of a great funk album from the 70’s (Cameo’s Cameosis – don’t laugh), but left it in Jenkin’s car, which had been parked by the rip-off Spaceland Valet guys (who once stole a whole roll of quarters out of my glove compartment) so I had to find the right guy and get the disc. But then i couldn’t figure out how to lock the door again so I said, ‘feck it’ and went back inside to me big ale.
After a while, my friend, Kerry Kompost, was onstage playing bass in his TOTALLY kick-ass rockin’ band. Kerry had kindly guitar tech’d for us at Royce Hall (on short notice) back in May. After they finished I realized it was time for Bushmills shots. I asked Deb if she was up for the challenge. She had already been nursing CAPE CODS before we got there so she was certainly game.
So, we did the first shot, which she found to be quite exquisite. But what would you expect from the Diary? Never underestimate a drinkin’ man.
After that first shot I (naturally) started thinking about the second shot when the lovely Miss Lisa Jenio (CandyPants Singer/ STEW-Negro Problem Flutist) walked up in a nice, red top with super-red lipstick and said hello. She and I are doing a duet for my solo record, CITY LIFE, on a track appropriately named, COCKTAILS. I was polishing the lyrics yesterday and e-mailed them to her to which she e-mail back her approval. I believe it is going to be the opening track. Bartender, pour that drink like you don’t own it. Speaking of bartenders, ours was kind that night. The second shot was SPILLING over the sides. If we were in England we’d have to put a shotgun up to a bartender to get them to pour spirits so generously.
The second shot was even better than the first. I was in the process of ordering my second beer when bassist, Scott Halper, came over. I hadn’t seen him since we did the Knitting Factory show. He asked for a ride home after the show. Sure, man. But you have to ask Jenkins cause he drove. That’s what I said. then I paid for my drink. Then Morley Bartnoff (who is the AMAZING pianist that plays with me) came over to chat. You mind if I catch a ride home with you? Sure, man. But you gotta ask Jenkins cause he drove, not me. Ok.
That was done. Then the REAL character of the night approached, just as the Gigolo Aunts were taking the stage.
Now this guy, his name’s ‘Shmushkin’ and he’s sort of a comedian songwriter – someone even described him as ‘James Taylor meets Lenny Bruce’ and they weren’t off base. See, Shmushkin, or ANDY SHMUSHKIN, lives 2 blocks from me. he lives with another Andy, comedian Andy Dick. So, two characters actually. And they did a show at Spaceland (both Andys) just last week but I didn’t attend because I was afraid that Andy (Dick) was gonna wear a bikini onstage. He does not look very good in a bikini, ok? But Shmushkin is a VERY interesting guy in that he sings about making love to PUMPKINS.
He’s part of NATIONAL LAMPOON and, on their website, he’s advertised as “Not your ordinary pumpkin f*cker.” He actually has a single titled, ‘Pumpkin Lovin’. Andy’s proud to tell you how he ‘came to this country with a simple dream – quality sports goods at affordable prices. If you hear his songs I think you’ll have a better understanding of what I mean. So, don’t take my word for it. go to this site: www.nationallampoon.com/shmushkin/andy.asp
As the Gigolo Aunts were winding down Deb said she was gonna walk home, which is about 10 minutes from Spaceland. But it was nearing 2 am and we told her ‘no way’ and then all of us piled into Dave Jenkins tiny car; Morley, Jenkins, Deb, Scott and myself. It was like a scene from one of those clown movies.
But we did it. And it was a fun night. Except, this morning I woke up and realized I left my phone in Jenkins’ car. As a matter of fact, it’s 9:30 am (PST) I better give him a call. Next adventure? Possibly Aug. 5 at the Viper Room, where the Diary tries to rub elbows with Hollywood’s ‘in-crowd’. I love this filthy town.