“RUN, ARIANNA, RUN!!!!!!!!”
July 29, 2003
“RUN, ARIANNA, RUN!!!!!!!!”
Dear Arianna Huffington, I’m not usually good with words but I want you to know something right here and now; once you officially announce your candidacy for Governor of California, you cannot ONLY count on a donation from me to help your campaign, but you can also count on me to spread the word. I want you to know that what I am saying is from the heart, girl, from me to you.
Now, not long ago I had sour feelings for you that bordered on venomous. I don’t know, maybe it was jealousy, maybe it was your ridiculous politics at the time or maybe even that idiotic, ruthless, clueless, scumbag, snake-in-the-grass (now X) husband of yours, Michael Huffington. How you slept with that man no one will ever know but I am hear to tell you that, Arianna, WE forgive you. I am here to welcome you to the OTHER side. We can already see that you’ve woken up to the insanely selfish political ambitions you once held and have poured gasoline on them, burning them along with your wedding ring. You, my dear, have taken the plunge and I just want you to know, girl, that from now on it’s you and me.
Whatever you need me to do, A.H., you simply ask. Want me to sign up on your website and pledge my vote for you? Already did it! Want me to tell my friends to vote for you? Already did it! See, girl, I got your back. All you have to do is keep smiling and kickin’ facts in that sexy/cute Russian accent and I will be like your hidden spy, working on your behalf but behind closed doors. Together, we’ll capture California! I can be your ‘Karl Rove.’ And I say, forget these other folks who think they got a shot; Arnold, Gray, Richard, Huffy…these guys are useless. What every state needs is a woman like you. It’s time for these jerks to step aside. They’ve had their chance in congress, the supreme court, and the white house. And what have we gotten for it? Nothing. Arianna, you know as well as I that ‘Cowboy Time’ is over. it’s time for REAL leadership.
It must make you laugh to know your useless x-husband is joining the race. I guess the $40 Million he spent in ’96 running for governor (and losing of course) wasn’t good enough. There just aren’t that many fools in California, Mr. Huffington; You are gonna lose this race just like you lost that wonderful wife of yours. And you can never have her back. She has broken that conservative spell you put her under and she is no longer a ‘slave to the dollar’ like yourself, you despicable con man. No, Arianna is her OWN woman. That’s why she has my vote for governor. Arianna, California needs you, I need you, heck, AMERICA needs you.
And if you too need Arianna, please go to her website: http://www.runariannarun.com/ and sign up.