Edinburgh was awash with men in kilts and rugby tops so we left early to catch a train to Glasgow.

We found the hotel OK but they didn’t want us til 3 so we left our bags and went to See Glasgow. Rogano’s is a famous restaurant in Glasgow and Tina was a little peckish so we found it (under a scaffold and green tarpaulins). We took seats at the bar and feasted on fish and chips with champagne and coffee with tablet to follow. Lovely.

Found the venue no bother. Spotted Mike Randle eating an apple this time. Mr Healthy. We were impressed. The rugby was on TV and we discussed the homoerotic appeal of the sport as well as vomit, eating flesh and the offside rule in soccer. We met up with Keith and exchanged notes on the previous day’s events.

As Caryne has pointed out, security at Carling venues is a wee bit tight. ‘I know I just saw you walk through that door but I can’t let you back through it’ he smiled like an alligator. Well nyah because I took a bottle of water and some polos in with me. While we waited we heard about the Black Eyed Peas accepting a party invite the previous evening and singing karaoke. The place was filling up with a wide range of people: Rab C Nesbitts, gangsters, molls, teens and the 7 x 7 crew. Old Man had been to see the Brian Jonestown Massacre show at King Tut’s the night before and told us how great it was.

The crowd were up for Arthur and it seemed he was up for them. Brilliant showman throughout: Why didn’t you tell me my shirt wasn’t done up? Well, would you? He’d realised they cheered every time he took the shades off – so he kept on removing them for microseconds at a time. I was stuck between the tripod and a wrought iron fence with a ladder lying behind me. Sigh, but at least I didn’t get beer thrown over me like Tina. My theory is that it’s a Carling thing: when you treat people as sub-human they tend to behave that way. At the end a breathless guy told me it was better than sex, he only lost his LOVE virginity last year… he was reprimanded by his companion.

Arthur came out and had a chat with a few people. When I saw Tina in line, I rushed over with the camera. A guy stopped me and asked me to take his photo with Arthur. By the time he’d written his address, Tina was Right There talking to The Man. I managed a quick snap that captured his face and her nose. Next Time…… He said he hadn’t seen the videos yet, which could explain how we are still in post. When it came to taking Dougie’s photo it was just like in Newcastle August 2002 with Martyn, can’t even press a button with Mr Lee in the viewfinder. Then just after the shutter clicked, Dougie planted a huge kiss on Arthur’s cheek….Never mind, the photo’s good. One day, will someone take my photo with Arthur please? I know I tend not to go too close so this could be a challenge. Mike seemed a little sceptical about the kiss story, until Dougie rushed up and kissed him too. HA! Keith had to go because he was driving home early in the morning. He kindly took the tripods with him to bring to Newcastle tomorrow.

Suzie asked after JoanieD, which was nice and we saw others we’d met in King Tut’s last year. Afterwards the question was: ‘Are ye goin on tae Nice and Sleazy’s?’ Nah! we had things to do, batteries to charge, trains to catch. We walked over the bridge into central Glasgow with Old Man and back to our hotel, then instead of an early night laughed at Ross Noble’s tales of Monkey Love on TV.

Mike Randle