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Mike Randle


What Is Happening And How Have You Been?
July 25, 2004

I was sound asleep, dreaming of a wonderful Cancun Sunset, drinking a Pina Colada with my toes in the hot sand. The waitress asked if I wanted another drink and Hannah pointed to her Manhattan to indicate she was ready for a refill. it was then my nice dream was broken up by my 5-year-old brat, Julian, hitting me over the head with a pillow. The walls of reality come crashing down, sometimes too early. So the dream disappeared and I got up and showered. You can’t tell Julian anything, as far as how not to bother me. The kid LIVES to drive me insane.

So, around 10:30am we went to the beach and the beach was fun. Jules played with soem kids and they made sand inventions, got in the water, screamed and just had fun as children do. I chilled, read the LA TIMES (easily the worst news paper ever, although the Sprots section is good and even better during football season…and whn i say football i mean MAN football…not that sissy Premeir stuff with all that rain…ok, i’m just kidding)… and Julian played and then i got a text from Hannah and funny we’d talked earlier and she mention an ex-boy of hers who was a Tottenham Hot Spurs fan and she couldnt understand why he was one and so, in order to make her feel more at ease i mention that North london Hilary was a Hot Spurs fan. It didn’t seem to make a difference.

SO, these Seaguls swooped down at the beach an took a guy’s sandwich and, well, that was the most exciting thing at the beach. there were LOADS of people there. LOADS. Everyone seemed to have fun. Julian and i left the beach area for the park. chatted with Rusty and then my mate, Laura Kelley. After that, Jules and i made our way homeand then Rusty came by and, since i had all the gear set up, Rusty and i finished some stuff to compete some demos and then Rusty split. And then i chatted to Daddyo..oh, Daddyo caught a bunch of fish…a BUNCH. I forwarded the photo to jackie AND she thinks they’re Red Snapper. Didnt; forward to Hannah cuz she hates fish.

Jules and i ate dinner and watched BUGS LIFE for the 689th time. Jules then fell asleep and i cleaned up a bit. listened to a hilarious ‘crank call’ CD our friend, Michael Shelley, made us. Then i lsitened to some demos i’d done when i was at UCLA in 2001. Some were not bad at all. Some were complete shite. I opened a bottle of wine and pondered about this wonderful place we call the Universe. How we all believe what we want and how that’s ok. And how i think that’s perfect. You can believe in flying saucers all you want. it’s perfectly fine by me. As a matter of fact, i was re-reading a book given to me by a freind from my teenage years (who’s`now a professor at Claremont University, in Claremont , Calif.), a friend who ALWAYS supported me in a real positive sense, cause i played music and i was a nice guy, i suppose, and he was always a good pal.

And we are still friends to this day TWENTY YEARS LATER and here i am, rockin still, and he’s a genius. But he still is down for that righteous pint. he’s written an interesting book, THE SOCIOLOGY OF RELIGEON, which i’m on my second read (as i mentioned. am i repeating myself?) Am I repeating myself? Ok, that aint funny…So his name (i hope you don’t mind, Phil) PHIL ZUCKERMAN. he and his brother, David, are big LOVE fans and we appreciate them dearly. I’ve written about him before (and about his famous mom, but i think i was being unfair, dragging her name thru the diaries, so i wont mention her this time), just as a reminder. SO, Phil brings up a thing in his book about how, well, there is no credible evidence that Humans (or anything, for that matter) have been abducted by Aliens. None. Nadda. Nothing. Naught. Neeno. Sure, there are funny pictures and a host of stories but, when it comes to the stuff Judge Judy requires as proof in her courtroom, the Aliens come up short. But here’s the amazing fact; over 1 million people (out of, say…er 250 million?) CLAIM TO HAVE BEEN ADUCTED BY ALIENS. So, what does that tell you? Or should I say, what does it tell you about 1 million people in Amerca? That’s a fifth of 1% of America. Not a lot. But enough to swing an election, you think?

If i’m runnign for President in America where, no lead is safe and there’s no such thing as a ‘sure thing’ (unless yer Bush and yer Dad plays goft with the Supreme Court and your Vice President goes…-get this- DUCK HUNTING!!!!!! with a Supreme Court member…how rad is that!!!! ), you gotta be thinking about the ‘A.F.’ What’s that, you ask? Well, it’s the ALIEN FACTOR, of course! At the last minute, reach out to the disenfranchised nutters and proclaim that, you to, were abducted by Aliens in a flying saucer. You very well could be President of the United States. And to quote that lovely dear, Miss jackie Barnes, it DOES feel reassurring knowing at least that Dubya doesn’;t in fact run the country, which would explian Bush’s brain dropping out of commission on 9/11. And with that, i’ll end this with a nice quote from Mr. Benjamin Franklin (who never claimed to be abducted by Aliens) that says: “Those who would trade freedom for safety shall have neither.” Or something to that effect…

Mike Randle


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