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Mike Randle


Champayne For My Real Friends/ Real Pain For My Sham Friends…
August 10, 2005

Well, my housemate, Kate, came home with that Vanity fair (she has a subscription) that has Jen Anniston and I’m hooked; I totally hate that effing beeeaaaahhhhtch, Angolina whatever her name is. I mean, Brad was Jen’s and like, how you gonna just come right in and mess their thing up, huh? Hey, I don’t care how many Tasmanian kids she adopts; Brad was off limits and you messed up girlfriend… which reminds me, I was at a wedding a few years back and my cousin, Kathy, asked me about the rock and roll business… I told her it was gonna cost her a few rounds but I’d tell her the quick story (of the E-Z 1040, as we taxpayers call it…)…. but after the 3rd Dirty Stoli, I totally forgot what she wanted… which is what happens with me with Martyn from South Africa…I can’t for the life of me get to the bottom of our conversations… we just jump subjects left right and center… always a pint at the bottom of our issues…

So i find myself working on 3 projects simultaneously…so I’ve decided to head off to Mum’s (with Julian, the brass and mannish lil 6-year-old that is also sweet as pie.) to ‘make a dent’ in my most important project at the moment. Wonderful Tina Winter is lending me a helping hand which has make me even more focussed so I am confident my trip home will not only be a fruitful one but a relaxing one. I must admit, i fear i’ll be ordered to take the trash out within 10 minutes of arrival. Speaking of trash, does ANYONE has that song that Howard Stern plays by Beetlejuice? that song is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bad but it’s like you CAN’T stop listening. it’s THAT bad, kinda like Jessica Simpson…..

ok, the new Daisy Duke was an easy target but, the other night, Hannah and me were siting around watching her family’s 2-hour double dip on VH1 about her, her dumb (but cute!) lip-syncing sister, their father (former Christian preacher, Present cash, pimpin’ daddy…), the mom (what’s HER job? oh, she designed the clothes…got it…)…and a cast of ‘former friends’ and some old dance teachers…(yawn)..and so we watched that and i kept thinking these girls…is it me or are they complete idiots? rich idiots but dang…clueless for sure. and then the ‘Chicken of the Sea’ thing happened and Jessica tried to explain why she thought Tuna was actually Chicken:

“well Nick (he’s her husband), Tuna is the most popular food in water and Chicken is the most popular food on land. so you know, Chicken of the sea, i thought it was the chicken of the sea…”

huh? Wot? you go jessica. but that’s great TV. and that’s what we like about VH1; they dont let no stinckin facts get in the way of a good story. and hey, i like tuna and who’s to say tuna and chicken aren’t the same thing? Jess has millions of fans and some ‘yes folks’ that will disagree with you. but seriously jess and little sister who lip-synced, i dig you guys and no matter what a knucklehead like me writes, hey, you just remember that you follow your soul, girls. you work really hard. pay no attention to the christians that call you sell-outs and boo and hiss you for using them (and their money) as well as the christian music genre to catapault your non-christian career; hey, whitney houston did it! and on THAT note, i’m off to bed…zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Mike Randle


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